Good Parenting Quotes Just for You!

I have compiled a list of good parenting quotes that are from famous celebrities and authors! I have organized them into categories for easy reading. Enjoy!

Sleepless Nights

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1.  "People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one." – Leo J. Burke

2.  “My biggest parenting conundrum: Why it is so hard to put someone who is already sleepy to sleep?” — Chrissy Teigen

3.  "Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future." – Amy Poehler

4.  "My biggest parenting conundrum: Why do kids wake up so early? It’s like they think it's Christmas every day." – Jim Gaffigan

5.   "Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?" – Alyson Hannigan

Feeding Fiascos

6.  "I was told I should start feeding my baby solids at 6 months. He looked up at me with his big, innocent eyes and threw the food on the floor." – Reese Witherspoon

7.  "You know your life has changed when going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation." – Kristen Bell

8. "Why do we have to pay to feed children anyway? Can’t we just put out some food and hope for the best?" – Tina Fey

9.  "You're just like a human napkin for kids, like, they just wipe their face on you and stuff" - Tina Fey

10.  "It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn’t finish." – Carrie Underwood

Parenting Wisdom

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11. "If you’re not yelling at your kids, you’re not spending enough time with them." – Reese Witherspoon

12. "There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one." – Sue Atkins

13. "To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today." – Barbara Johnson

14. "The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant—and let the air out of the tires." – Dorothy Parker

15. "Good parenting quotes often remind us that imperfection is part of the journey." - Unknown

Sibling Shenanigans

16. "Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together." – Sam Levenson

17. "Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee." – David Frost

18. "The best sibling fights are the ones that make great stories later on." – Unknown

19. "Siblings: the only enemy you can't live without." – Unknown

20. "Good parenting quotes remind us that siblings are built-in best friends (and enemies)." - Unknown

Toddler Tantrums

21. ”Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." – Ed Asner

22. "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing." – Phyllis Diller

23. "Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for." – Jerry Seinfeld

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24.  “It’s 8.30am and I’ve already gotten in 5 fights” – thugs, and parents of toddlers. Nicole Richie.

25. "Becoming a mom to a toddler is the best opportunity to grow a pair of eyes in the back of your head.” - Unknown

Learning & School Adventures

26. "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." – Franklin P. Jones

27. "I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for children." – Unknown

28. "Sending your kids to school is like sending them to the casino. You never know what you're going to get." – Emma Bombeck

29. "Good parenting quotes teach us that every school day is an adventure." - Unknown

30.  "Sending your kids off to school for the first time in a few months is a lot like getting a tattoo... It's going to hurt and take a while to heal, but in the end, you'll be glad you did it." – Nia Vardalos

Good Parenting Quotes About Tech Troubles

31. "I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying." – Unknown

32. "Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it." – Unknown

33. "Trying to explain technology to a grandparent is the same as trying to explain your kid’s Instagram post." – Jimmy Kimmel

34. "Technology is great but sometimes I miss the days when I could yell at my kids and not worry about it being recorded." – Unknown

35. "Teaching your parents how to use technology is the ultimate test of patience." - Unknown

Teen Trials

36. "Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." – Sam Levenson

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37. "Teenagers are like cats: they leave you on your own and only come back when they need food." – Unknown

38. "The best thing to spend on your children is your time." – Louise Hart

39. "A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them off to summer camp." – Raymond Duncan

40.  "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." – Lane Olinghouse

Holiday Hilarity

41.  "There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." – Erma Bombeck

42.  "The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents on Christmas morning." – Unknown

43. "Halloween is the only day parents can guilt-free eat their children's candy." – Unknown

44. "Thanksgiving is a time when you are grateful for what you have. Mostly, the kids are thankful for the dessert." – Unknown

45. "Good parenting quotes often come from the chaos of holiday gatherings." - Unknown

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General Parenting Humor

46. "Parenting is a lot like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how." – Unknown

47. "Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." – Ray Romano

48. "90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again." – Unknown

49. "Good parenting quotes remind us to laugh at the chaos and cherish every moment." - Unknown

50.  “No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.” — Ryan Reynolds

These good parenting quotes highlight the humor and wisdom that come with raising children. Reminding you to embrace the chaos that sometimes comes along with raising children and to laugh along the way.