Helicopter Parenting. What is it?
Have you heard about helicopter parenting?
It's when parents keep a close eye on their kids all the time. They watch over every little thing their kids do. It's like having a helicopter always hovering above you, ready to swoop in if there's any trouble.
The term "helicopter parenting" was first used back in the 1960s. It describes parents who get too involved in their kids' lives. They micromanage everything their children do.
Even though helicopter parents usually mean well, this type of parenting can create big problems for both the parents and the children.
Helicopter parents however, will argue that by raising their children this way they are helping the child grow up safely, but there are consequences to not letting children experience life for themselves
The Ways of Helicopter Parenting
Some of the more common ways a helicopter parent may raise their children:
Overprotection: Helicopter parenting involves shielding their children from harm, both emotionally and physically. If their child is in conflict with someone or if they are trying to solve a problem. The parent will quickly intervene solving the problem and settling the conflict before the child even gets the chance to.
Micromanagement: The parents will micromanage every aspect of the child’s lives. For example, their homework, extra curricular activities, who the kid socializes with, to how the children spend their time and what goals they pursue.
Constant Supervision: This type of parent has a habit of monitoring their child’s every activity. From tracking them on Finder/GPS to being close by during playdates. They don’t like their kids having their own space or making their own decisions.
High Expectations: They set unrealistic expectations for their children, because they want nothing more than the best for them.
They want their children to be successful in as many areas of their life as possible, so they always add that extra push in the direction of academic skills, socially and athletically.
Fear of Failure: Helicopter parents are very fearful that their child may fail somewhere along the line or will be unable to face challenges. In order to prevent these setbacks from taking place, they may finish the child’s homework for them or even talk to the teacher regarding their grades.
The Impact on the Child
Helicopter parenting is all about good intentions and love for their child. However, the way in which it can affect a child can be long-lasting.
I have listed some of the consequences that may arise from being raised by a helicopter parent:
Lack of Independence: Anyone who is the child of helicopter parents often struggle to become independent. They have difficulty making their own decisions and solving their own problems. This is a result of them being closely supervised and constantly micromanaged all the time.
Low Self-Esteem: Unreasonable expectations and constant negativity can damage a child's self-worth. Kids may believe they're useless except when they can meet their parents' unrealistic standards. Steady put-downs and demands make a child feel incapable or unworthy.
Anxiety and Stress: Demands for perfection create anxiety and stress in the child. Overwhelming fear of failure burdens children under parental pressure to excel. Constant scrutiny and high expectations overwhelm kids, giving in to unease and worry.
Poor Decision-Making Skills: Making decisions is an important part of life, and because they are not allowed to make their own decisions as a child and learn from their mistakes, they will likely struggle with decision making skills when they are adults. They will then need to rely on their parents to make decisions for them.
Difficulty Dealing with Hard Times: Shielded from hard times and failure, they lack the ability to cope with challenges and they lack resilience. When faced with negative situations they are unable to handle them effectively.
Strained Parent-Child Relationship: Rather than strengthening the parent-child relationship, helicopter parenting can put a strain on it. Resentment towards their parents may occur because their parents regularly intruded into their lives, causing them to feel like they are lacking independence and freedom.
Finding a Balance
So, if you could choose between helicopter parenting and another type of parenting what would it be? You want to find that just right balance that will allow your child the necessary room to grow. This can be done by simply letting them learn from their own experiences.
Below you will discover tips that will I will aid you in possibly finding that balance.
Trust your Child: Start by trusting your child. Allow them to make their own decisions and mistakes. Offer them support and guidance at the same time giving them space to explore and take risks.
Encourage Independence: Allow your child to take on the necessary responsibilities and make decisions for themselves. It’s okay if they want to pursue their passions and interests, even if they are different from your own.
Set Realistic Expectations: Set realistic, achievable expectations for your child, taking into account their individual strengths and interests. Allow them to learn from their failures and don’t forget to celebrate their successes.
Inspire Persistence: Teach your child coping skills and problem-solving techniques to aid in the development of resilience. Encourage them to persist when facing disappointments and challenges. They need to know that failure is just another part of the learning process.
Lead by Example: Be a positive role model by demonstrating independence and healthy coping skills in your own life. Let your kids now that it’s okay to make mistakes and failing at something is giving them the opportunity to grow.
You can improve your relationship with our child by showing them affection and communicating regularly. Don’t forget though, setting appropriate boundaries are important as well.
With a little balance helicopter parenting can teach children to be confident and strong, while allowing some freedom for individual exploration.
Parents must find a middle ground between a hands-on and hand-off approach.
If they completely neglect their child, thinking that life will teach them everything they need to know, then their not providing enough guidance. But smothering them with rules and guidelines isn’t the best method either.