Parenting a Toddler - Expert Parenting Advice and How to Deal with Tantrums

Parenting a toddler is an exciting time filled with learning and laughter and of course, it has its fair share of difficulties. As your toddler explores the world with curiosity, you are faced with the challenge of setting boundaries and rules for their growth and development.

Being consistent plays a vital role in parenting a toddler, however, it’s not just about implementing rules. It also involves creating a stable and predictable environment where your child can thrive.

Parenting a toddler is all about building a trust and understanding between parent and child. When expectations are clear and boundaries are consistently followed children will feel more safe and secure.

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However, staying consist can be challenging at times. It requires that you communicate with and understand your kids. Whether it's toilet training or regulating screen time, being on the same page regarding just about anything sets the stage for a balanced parenting approach.

In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the important aspects of parenting a toddler, such as; improving their motor skills, timeouts and potty training.

Also, through expert advice and practical suggestions, we’ll examine how consistency plays a crucial role in every phase of your toddler's growth.

Parenting a Toddler is About Being Consistent

One of the biggest challenges parents struggle with is being consistent in setting expectations and following through on rules. As your child grows and develops they start to gain independence and confidence, something every parent wants.

Parents also need to provide boundaries to keep their children safe and give them a sense of security. Simply put looking out for your children lets them know you love and care for them.

Being consistent in your rules also lets your child know what behavior and actions are appropriate and what are not. Children are smart and will test your rules. So if you only sometimes enforce a rule they will constantly challenge you which can lead to tantrums and power struggles between you and your child.

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And of course, when there's two parents it's even harder to be consistent. Both of you at the earliest stages should talk about what rules you agree on and which you do not. Being on the same page with the most important and bigger issues will make both your lives easier.

This might include things such as;

  • Bedtimes
  • Respectful language
  • Helping out at home
  • Getting ready for school
  • Homework
  • or Limiting screen and video time

Communication and consistency are both keys to setting expectations and enforcing rules, which will help you feel better about being an effective parent.

Source Mark Shane, MD
Medial Director and Pediatrician

Timeout and Your Toddler

One of the best tools to let your child know when their behavior is not okay is - Time Out

Timeouts are not only for your child but they also give parents a moment to calm down, when they need it most. Timeouts should be reserved for behaviors that are more harmful, destructive or disrespectful and it's very important to be consistent in enforcing them.

First, timeouts should be in a safe place that's not scary and removed from the main living area. Also somewhere where you can keep an eye on them without them seeing you.

Timeouts are typically one minute for each year of age and should be used immediately after the bad behaviour to be effective. You can set a clock or a cooking timer with a bell and when the bell rings timeout is over.

If your child refuses to stay in timeout they may need to go to a bedroom without toys or TV, calm down for a minute or two and then go to the timeout spot. After timeout is over move on, no more discussion needed.

You can say something positive, which can help. It could be something simple like, “you're really playing nicely with your toys.” With timeouts your child quickly learns that bad behaviour has consequences and gives you an effective way to correct your child's behaviour.

Source Mark Shane, MD
Medical Director and Pediatrician

Parenting a Toddler and Toilet Training

When is a good time to start toilet training? There is not one answer when it comes to toilet training your toddler. It depends upon your goals for starting and it's important to make sure the timing is right for both your child and your family.

If you or your family are going through major life changes or your child is in their defiant stage and they will go through this stage, it's usually better to wait for these times to pass. But before you even start toilet training, it's good to let your child know what it's all about.

Start reading children's books about toilet training, talk about using a potty. Have them practice sitting on their own potty chair and even showing them that you sit on the toilet too can help.

Some signs that your child may be ready to toilet train include; they try to do things by themselves, they say no, when you offer help, they act uncomfortable when their diaper is wet or dirty, and they can use some signs or words to let you know when they want things.

But rest assured it's not a one-size-fits-all approach and toilet training is not a race. Most importantly, be patient and supportive, your child will learn how to use the toilet. It just might be more on their timeline than yours.

Source Mark Shane, MD
Medical Director and Pediatrician

Parenting a Toddler and Dealing With Tantrums

Young parents get scared when they hear stories about the terrible twos. Remain strong, you will survive the toddler stage.

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Why does your toddler throw tantrums at such a young age…. A child is consumed with thoughts of themselves. Everything is about them and how they feel.

Until they are taught how to share, every toy or piece of food they see automatically belongs to them.

Toddler temper tantrums can have a variety of effects. Your first
thought might be that everyone is focused on you and your screaming child, but getting embarrassed won't defuse the situation. Besides as a parent, you have many more years of embarrassing situations to look forward to courtesy of your children.

So worrying about what others think during this situation is simply going to stress you and make you feel worse.

Here are a few tips to help you cope during tantrums:

Ignore the tantrum. Now this technique works best when you're at home. In public places, you don't want to ever leave your child unattended as a form of punishment. If you want your toddler to be well behaved in public, then you have to start at home.

Ignoring a toddler is not harsh. If your child was squirming on the floor screaming for a cookie continue to talk to them as if you'd never noticed. Eventually they'll get the hint and stop screaming.

Avoid instant gratification. In public toddlers throw tantrums when they are denied something that they want. Some parents give in to keep their child quiet but a child learns very quickly. Tantrums will continue if they know that you will cave. Simply tell them no and keep moving.

Don't get angry. When you scream and they scream and then the situation is wildly out of control. You'll end up crying and your toddler will still be screaming. In any situation, raised voices means civilized
conversation has ended. Keep using the same calm voice you use when they are behaving to get your child to calm down as well.

Praise your toddler when they behave well. Positive reinforcement is much better than negative. In the absence of positive attention a child will behave badly just to get some attention at all. Acting out and throwing tantrums maybe a cry for attention. Don't let it get to this point.

Clap and celebrate when they go to the potty successfully when they put away their toys. When they use good manners, such as saying please and thank you deserve a smile and a hand clap as well.

Run errands after naptime. Kids get agitated when they get tired. A toddler misbehaves more often if they are taken out when they are tired.

Carry snacks with you. Low blood sugar can lead to tantrums. If you
are out longer than anticipated and lunch or dinner time is close at hand, let them eat a healthy snack to keep their hunger pains at bay and sugar levels stable.

Be consistent in your punishment. At home, you might use timeout to deal with the tantrum for behaving badly. In public do the same. Set your child on a bench for five minutes or take them to the car. Eventually they will learn that you are not a pushover and they will begin to behave.

You will survive the toddler years. Nip temper tantrums in the bud with these handy tips.